Hammer Museum patrons mistake directions to restroom for modern art installation

By Ivana Gouda DeBafroume

On Monday, tens of art students, both graduate and undergraduate, as well as several patrons were gathered around a sign saying “Restroom upstairs to the right”, surrounded by a layer of masking tape, mistakenly believing that the sign is a newly installed modern art piece.

The confusion was addressed by a museum staff member, Kip Delavy, who mentioned that two signs that had to be installed were accidentally switched, and had to be switched back. “We’ve tried making the repair as inconspicuous as possible, but apparently the Streisand Effect took over and now it’s the center of attention.”

Indeed, the piece was a center of attention – an estimated 70 comments were left, some giving overwhelmingly positive reviews for its commentary on rules and structure in society, others saying it feels like a mere pop-art echo of other great avant-garde works such as Duchamp’s Fountain.

A professor of the art department, Dr. Hardy Lanow, has even controversially assigned a term essay on the sign, which is currently being graded. The only graded paper so far is of a student who had written “Maybe the building manager just accidentally switched the signs”; this paper received an F.

Talking to Dave Davidson

James patiently asked Dave, “What did you do over the summer?”

Dave had a ponderous look on his face. “I was at home,” he said, slightly turning away. “Met my mom. It was fun, at least better than the last time I met her.” James was calm and observant, taking notes.

Dave, being his fidgety self, played around with his fingers and messed his hair around a bit. He went on, slightly nervous, “My mom and I have had a tough relationship over the years, and I feel like it’s slowly starting to mend. We’ve spent some quality time together, things have been going a bit better than days when she used to just rant at me.” James nodded, as if eager to hear the next word. “She’d always take it out on me anytime she’d bring up the very strained relationship between her and dad. I was like some sort of a stress toy, and for some reason a representation of what she wanted to be. It led to situations that were quite uncomfortable,” Dave said, as his smile slowly disappeared.

James was concerned, but ever so alertly taking notes. Dave continued, “She’s somehow gotten over that though, and I’m happy for that. It feels like some of it is still left, and I’m not sure how can I confront her about that without being hurtful.”

James put on a warm smile, and responded, “Well Dave, now we’ve got your resume on file, and we’ll contact you if we’re able to offer an interview!”

Excited UCLA student makes Class Of 2025 group

By Fo Sait

In a remarkable instance of preparedness, an excited student at UCLA, Steve Limburger, created a group for the Class of 2025.

Steve added members from the ‘15, ‘16, ‘17 and ‘18 classes. When asked why, he said “So we can collectively answer questions of prospective students, including those who are currently in the 7th grade! Plus, years from now we can sell those books that we’ve been meaning to sell during all of our time as undergraduates, when the time comes.”

Steve’s group is the first of what is now several groups competing to attract the most members, the other groups being “2025 Class”, “OFFICIAL CLASS OF 2025” and “2025 GROUP PLEASE JOIN!!! :)”

His group now has 850 members, even though they will have to wait for about 6 years for actual members to come in.

Statue of UCLA mascot turns into Polar Bear as part of fad to raise awareness, receives lukewarm reception

By Ets Bindun

In an attempt to cash on the popularity of a forgotten fad, and to help raise awareness for a debilitating disease that the fad already did – the famed UCLA Bruin Bear has been given a makeover – turning it into the Polar Bear.

A thick layer of convincing off-white hard-to-remove paint has been given to the iconic statue that has been a representative symbol of the college since its arrival on campus. Various attempts have been made to defame the Bruin Bear after the makeover, with the most popular type of vandalism being puns on ice: early last week, a statue of iconic Batman villain Mr. Freeze was found near the Bruin Bear, with a sign in his hand saying “Stay cool.” The move has been met with negative reception – junior global studies major Summer Winters said on the change: “This is just not a good move, it’s stupid and more overdone than those Batman and Robin puns. It stands for a- wait, I meant to say good cause- WAIT! I CAN EXPLAIN! I WASN’T DISSING ALS- DON’T TAKE ME AWAY, YOU CAN’T DO THIS!

As the Ice Bucket Challenge has been considered long-dead, numerous people have expressed concern on the restoration of the statue, considering the difficulty involved in scraping the particular type of paint applied to the bear.  Earlier a student who reportedly attempted to paint the bear with a slightly deeper shade of brown was denounced by student groups as “racist scum” and “Go party at Sig Ep!”

A spokesperson of the Meme-Affected Statue Restoration Committee has announced that it plans to implement a solution at the end of this week, even though she said that the solutions discussed at the meeting were all met with mixed reception. She was quoted as saying “One of the board members even said, ‘How about if Pauley floods again?’ ”

UCLA Sigma Phi Epsilon hires Spike Lee to direct recruitment video

By Daiva Sitee

Amidst much controversy surrounding their ‘Kanye Western’ party, the Sig Ep chapter of UCLA has decided to hire famed director Spike Lee for their next recruitment video.

“We want to follow in the footsteps of the Alabama Alpha Phi recruitment video”, mentioned chapter spokesperson Cawkay Sienne. “Although misconceptions plague our fraternity, we do not have just one token black member”, said Sienne, “but two. A lot of people would think that this entire party is a subtle jab at the 1986 movie Soul Man, but that is yet another misconception – it was our inspiration!”

When told about the similarities of the fiasco to the 2014 film Dear White People, Sienne said “We know and love that movie! That’s why four of our members dressed as characters from it.”

Regarding the choice of the director, Sienne said “Mr. Lee has done films like Oldboy and The 25th Hour, which feature white leads. We think a director with that ability would be able to accurately capture our fraternity’s goals and values. I trust him to do the right thing!”

Freshman climbs Covel steps, authors inspirational book

By Kale O’Reese

A lot of buzz and anticipation has surrounded the release of a new inspirational book – The Long Way Up – written by UCLA student Rhee Barall, who was able to complete it before his freshman year had even gotten over. Rhee has revealed his inspiration for the book: climbing the Covel steps.

Rhee said about the book, “It’s a book about how you can overcome obstacles, and even when the odds seem low, it’s possible to climb to great heights. I got the idea in Fall quarter when I had lasagna at Cafe 1919, and felt really tired but had to get back to my dorm in Rieber Hall. It took some persuasion to overcome my laziness, but I had finally been able to do so, and climbed the Covel steps.”

Rhee plans to write his next book on his experiences attending 8AM classes.